Can Spider-Man get drunk? | RBC

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Today we take a look at what happens when Spider-Man gets drunk.

In Comic Book Questions Answered, I answer any questions you might have about comics (feel free to email me questions at [email protected]).

Reader Doug F. has written to ask if Spider-Man’s healing abilities affect his ability to get drunk. So basically can Spider-Man get drunk and what happens when he does?

Lucky for Doug, I actually covered Spider-Man history while drinking heavily a few years ago, so I know exactly what it takes for this one.

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MARVEL’S CURRENT POSITION ON SPIDER-MAN GETTING FUCKED

In recent years, Marvel has made an explicit commitment not to show Spider-Man or Peter Parker soaking up alcohol. In The Incredible Spider-Man # 658 (in a backup story by Rob Williams, Lee Garbett, Alejandro Sicat and Fabio D’Auria), Spidey literally drinks MILK in a bar with Ghost Rider …

Likewise, in Wolverine # 74 (by Jason Aaron, Adam Kubert, Mark Farmer, Edgar Delgado, Morry Hollowell, and Paul Mounts) Spider-Man visits Wolverine at a bar and though the comic is essentially Marvel’s equivalent of a book R-rated, Spidey specifically chooses not to drink at the bar …

To go further, as I noted in a 2018 Comic Book Legends Revealed:

In Marvel’s contract with Sony for the Spider-Man films, part of the deal insisted that Spider-Man never drink beer.

And Paul Scheer told The Hollywood Reporter that when he tried to get Spider-Man to drink a beer in a Spider-Man / Deadpool issue he wrote, Marvel told him Spider-Man couldn’t drink. of beer.

In The Incredible Spider-Man # 601 (by Mark Waid, Mario Alberti and Andres Mossa), we see that Peter got drunk at Aunt May’s wedding (and ends up sleeping with his roommate, Michelle Gonzales) …

… but everything was psychosomatic, because the champagne was alcohol-free.

Okay, so the CURRENT position at Marvel is pretty clear that Spider-Man isn’t drinking. But what about the past?

THE STORY OF SPIDER-MAN WITH DRINK

When it comes to Spider-Man (whether as Peter Parker or as Spider-Man) drinking alcohol, there has only been one egregious case where Peter actively chose to drink alcohol in the “official” continuity, which was in The Incredible Spider-Man # 51 (by J. Michael Straczynski, John Romita Jr. and Scott Hanna), where Peter celebrates the return of Mary Jane in his life …

He also drank in the Tangled Web series off continuity (in Tangled web: the thousand # 2 by Garth Ennis, John McCrea, James Hodgkins and Steve Buccellato) …

Additionally, in the back-up from the days of Ben Reilly when he first came to life and left on his own (reprinted in Spider-Man: The Lost Years # 0), one of the first things he did was get wasted beer (in this story by Howard Mackie, JM DeMatteis, John Romita Jr and Joe Rubinstein) ….

Note how Ben even mentions that Peter DOESN’T DRINK, however …

He ORDERED a beer in Marvel Team # 75 (by Ralph Macchio, Chris Claremont and John Byrne), but he didn’t drink it …

Peter APPEARS to have a beer with Ben Reilly in Spider-Man Unlimited # 12 (by Evan Skolnick, Steve Geiger, Paris Karounos, Steven Butler, Randy Emberlin, Derek Fisher, Scott Hanna and Al Milgrom) …

but the column of letters in the next issue reveals that it was ROOT beer they were drinking (of course they were).

So yeah, Peter really doesn’t drink … to GOAL, that is.

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WHEN SPIDER-MAN IS DRUNK

The only time we got to see a real drunken Spider-Man was Spider-Man Web # 38 (by Fabian Nicieza, Alex Saviuk and Keith Williams). It was a strange time in the history of Spider-Man Web. The previous creative team of David Michelinie, Marc Silvestri and Kyle Baker had dropped out of the series and Michelinie was moved to the main The Incredible Spider-Man series and Spider-Man Web went with a variety of writers for most of 1988, with Peter David having the closest they came to a “regular” gig on the series before Gerry Conway (who had taken over Spectacular Spider-Man earlier in 1988) became the writer of both the Web and Spectacular Spider-Man with Spider-Man Web # 47.

Anyway, in Spider-Man Web # 38, Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson Parker are having their first big party at their apartment, which is the apartment Peter had been living in for several years at this point (they are moving into their new home soon at the start of Michelinie and Chez Todd McFarlane. The Incredible Spider-Man Course).

Throughout the party, Peter relishes the fruit punch that his wife has prepared …

Big mistake, Pierre!

Peter is called to action when his boyfriend, Harry Osborn, calls him to let him know that Harry has just seen the Hobgoblin in action. However, right off the bat (unintentional pun, but Spider-Man is here making a reference to New York baseball in the late 1980s) Spider-Man has a few issues, as he is MISSING with his webs!

He meets the Hobgoblin and IS STILL MISSING!

Things get worse when drunk Spider-Man lands on a nearby car and they even hear Spidey’s drunken burps …

Fortunately, Spider-Man ends up playing with the control of Hobgoblin’s cybernetic glider and Hobgoblin is taken to the races and Spider-Man successfully uses his own drunken misadventures to sell J. Jonah Jameson photos of Drunken Spidey in action. Peter returns to the party to find out who’s spiked the punch and it turns out he’s his annoying landlady’s husband! Peter looks at it …

Very funny stuff from Nicieza and now we know what would happen if Spider-Man got drunk (really, it’s kind of like when he gets sick, because he’s done crazy stuff over the years when he was suffering from the flu, like once literally robbing a jewelry store because he thought Gwen Stacy deserved something nice for her birthday! The image shown is actually from one of the times Peter got sick).

Thanks for the question Doug! If anyone else has a question about the comic, please email me at [email protected]

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